Sometimes we strive so hard to find clarity that we overwrite. We write, "He got the smell of ___________ in his nostrils." Not to be a smart mouth, but where else would one get a smell?
Watch for things like "flattend it down," simply write that it was flattened. (Honestly, how would one flatten it up?)
We have to give our readers credit for being smart. It is a delicate balance not to overwrite, yet not to leave out something that results in confusing copy.
While I honestly think that one produces the best story by NOT editing while writing the first draft, I believe as strongly that editing needs to be more than proper punctuation.
A perfect way to deflate an excellent scene of showing is to tack on the end an obvious statement of telling. At times we almost can't help ourselves. We've written an emotionally charged scene, then to make sure it is understood, we explain it.
Suddenly the forward momentum we had created falls flat and the reader thinks, "Oh duh!" While that does elicit a reaction from the reader, if they are saying, "Oh duh" about us [and not something the character did] then we haven't quite edited properly.
I think a good deal of that happens when we self-edit our draft as we write. The only thing to do is to read aloud the finished first draft [for content], before worrying where the comma goes in a direct address.
Things can get muddled as we work through rewrites and focus on a paragraph, a scene, or even a sentence and we can have bits no longer fit in the big picture. I've already talked [some weeks back] about the UK book where the mother-in-law clutched her pocket book through thick and thin, only to have it drop out of the story during the arc moment and never mentioned again.
I remember one book I read in a sci-fi series. The captain was walking down a hallway toward a certain cabin on the spaceship, then was coming up the hallway. It read like a camera angle change, but really seemed that somehow she had changed direction and doubled back from the narrator.
I get a chuckle when someone has left a scene and mysteriously spoke in the conversation while they weren't present.
The point is edit carefully. Give the reader credit for knowing that people smell with their nose. Keep track of when people leave and don't let them continue talking after they have left.
Content editing can be a lot of fun, so don't get too serious with it even though it is work. Keep focused that it is about making the best story out of the first draft.
What things do you see in books that you remember long after you've forgotten the title and author?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)

When Paul Fenton stops for breakfast in a small town, he gets more than he bargained for in the process.
When two-hundred-year-old human remains are discovered on one of Neptune's moons, Earth's history falls into question.
Emily's husband persuades her to try thalidomide to ease her symptoms as she is unaware of the devastating effects.
Who is the women's shelter bomber? Melissa Ryan suspects that her husband knows.
Further developments with the Wilder family.
A hidden past shakes the O'Donovan family to its core
A swirl of emotion and choice, set in Cape Town, South Africa
Love is a constant, but it comes at a price.
When the road ahead is unclear, sometimes you have to rely on trust.
The struggle between good and evil is ages old. It gets all the more complicated when the good guys aren't all good and the bad guys have redeeming qualities.
Story of a land mothering two races of people – the light-skinned and the dark-skinned.
A gifted Ukrainian ballerina comes into possession of a mysteriously coded address book.
Six passengers' lives change for better or worse after they arrive in Honiton.
Resilience and love in a harsh and unforgiving age
Kathryn's Beach
High Tide
Storm Surge
It is hard work, but I enjoy the edits.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading about someone waiting for glass doors to slide open. The only problem was that in the previous chapter the building had a wooden one.
Oh funny, Glynis. That's a good one. BTW, my email to you bounce back. Says I'm blocked. (I cried for hours!)
ReplyDeleteWhy are you blocked? strange. I will check it out again.
ReplyDelete